Think Michigan’s weather stinks? How about trying another planet
Some Michiganders say there are two climate models here – colder and colder. But we have wonderful weather compared to all the other planets sharing our sun.
Someday you know it will be possible, so I’d better remind you which planet you want to go to for a getaway.
If you want to keep it close to you, you will need to head to Venus or Mars. If you’re going to take Elon Musk to Mars, you won’t be able to take the light. Mars will be a place where you need your warmest clothes and more. According to NASA, Mars can heat up to around 32 degrees in the afternoon. After the sun goes down, it’s best to have lots of layers. Mars can be up to 200 degrees below zero at night.
Going to a cold place isn’t fun, so head the other way to the Sun and stop at Venus. Don’t expect to get a lot of sun because Venus is covered in clouds. These clouds are not just any clouds. They are made of sulfuric acid and the rain they produce is sulfuric acid. You’d better rent a place with a garage. Afternoon temperatures will warm up to around 850 degrees F. Don’t plan on going to the beach. NASA says that if there were ever lakes and oceans on Venus, they evaporated and dried up a long time ago.
As we head towards the sun, let’s stop at Mercury, the planet closest to the sun. You will have lots of sun. It won’t be like Gray Michigan. On Mercury, the sun appears three times bigger and 10 times brighter than here on Earth. It’s very hot in the afternoon, up to 800 degrees F. You can’t just pack your bags for scorching heat. Clear skies and a thin atmosphere mean temperatures drop to 200 degrees below zero at night. Did you think Michigan was bad about temperature variations?
Let’s take more free time and go to Jupiter. If you thought you could stay somewhere on Jupiter, you got screwed. Jupiter is made of gas and has no ground to stand on. It would be a great place to chase storms on vacation. The giant red spot is a real storm for over 340 years and winds blowing at 270 mph.
It will take you some time to get to Saturn, the next planet in line. Saturn is not a place to take children. You will hear: “Are we still here? More times than you want, with Saturn about a billion kilometers from Earth. Saturn is far too cold, averaging 285 degrees F below zero.
The next stop at the outer galaxies would be Uranus. Uranus is an ice giant, averaging about 360 degrees below zero. The seasons are really going to ruin you on Uranus too. A summer or winter season could last 21 Earth years, with all sun or darkness. Spring and fall have days that are only 17 hours long. Talk about not knowing what time it is.
Neptune is the last stage of our solar system. It’s cold and windy, it looks like Houghton Lake here in Michigan. Well, it’s a lot colder and a lot windier. The temperature is 390 degrees below zero, and the wind can howl at up to 1,200 miles per hour – the fastest winds in our solar system. Just for fun I put those numbers into the wind chill calculator and got minus 766 degrees for a wind chill.