Imagine pitching the idea of a Major League Baseball team in the picturesque hills of Asheville – a move that's equal parts ambitious and absurd in the world of professional sports! But here's where it gets controversial: could this satirical push actually highlight deeper frustrations about regional sports representation, or is it just a laugh-out-loud fantasy? Dive in with me as we explore this hilarious yet thought-provoking proposal from Mountain Xpress, remembering it's all 100% satire and part of their annual Humor Issue.
As Major League Baseball ponders growing from 30 teams to 32 in the coming years, several Southeastern cities like Nashville, Charlotte, and Raleigh/Durham are energetically championing their cases to host a new franchise. Yet, echoing that iconic Yoda line from his final moments – 'There ... is ... another' – Asheville is throwing its hat into the ring with a grassroots effort that mirrors the MLB Raleigh movement. A passionate bunch of locals, including Asheville-born former MLB players Darren Holmes and Cameron Maybin, have kicked off 'Why Not Asheville?' to unite the community around the game and attract potential investors who could make this bid shine.
Why not, indeed? The organization's name sparks a simple but intriguing question, guaranteed to elicit all manner of reactions. Group members have even pointed out the tricky pronunciation issue, where the emphasis naturally lands on 'not,' leading to some playful misunderstandings. 'People often joke, 'Well, you've basically answered your own question,'' Maybin shares with a chuckle. 'We're focusing on outreach to emphasize the 'why' or even 'Asheville' itself. Like, 'Why not ASHEVILLE?' Wait, that just makes me sound a bit unhinged.'
And this is the part most people miss: when Maybin digs into why Asheville could actually work, he highlights factors like pristine water quality, stunning natural landscapes, a central highway hub, and a hungry local fanbase – the very elements that drew beer giants New Belgium Brewing Co. and Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. to set up shop here over ten years ago. Plus, the city boasts an impressive 128-year history of professional baseball, carried on today by the Asheville Tourists, and what he calls an 'insulting' proximity to the nearest MLB team, fueling 'a string of ridiculous misconceptions.'
'It's utterly ridiculous that we're supposed to root for the Braves,' Maybin exclaims. 'North Carolinians share little with Georgians – it's like forcing someone from Maine or New Hampshire to cheer for the Red Sox. Not happening on my terms.'
Speaking of rivals, Holmes dubs Charlotte 'selfish' for already hosting the NFL's Carolina Panthers and MLS's Charlotte Football Club. As for Raleigh/Durham, he labels them 'out of touch,' given their NHL Carolina Hurricanes, the beloved Triple-A Durham Bulls affiliated with the Tampa Bay Rays, and powerhouse college teams like N.C. State and others sporting blue-and-white hues. 'They might assume Seattle Mariners star catcher Cal Raleigh would feel loyalty to them,' Holmes quips. 'But he's from Cullowhee, folks! He'd be drawn to play here. Get your facts straight.'
Now, here's where it gets controversial again: Is Holmes unfairly dismissing these cities, or is there merit in questioning how far sports loyalty stretches? Think about it – does hometown pride trump regional geography in fandom?
Drawing inspiration from the classic 'If you build it, they will come' mantra from Field of Dreams, the group envisions stadium possibilities at spots like the Biltmore Estate, Asheville Regional Airport, or an enlarged upgrade of McCormick Field that pays homage to its storied past while scaling up dramatically.
Holmes brushes off past short-lived teams like the Asheville Smoke hockey squad or Asheville Altitude basketball team by saying, 'That's hockey and hoops – not baseball,' before cueing up a YouTube clip of the legendary 2001 eight-minute bench-clearing melee between the Smoke and Knoxville Speed. We end up watching it three times, laughing at the sheer chaos.
But here's the wild twist: One local, Walter Doubleday, a former high school third baseman, isn't waiting for official approval. Inspired by that same Field of Dreams vibe, he's building a stadium on his Leicester farm. This 40,000-seat wonder merges the charm of Fenway Park, the innovation of Oriole Park at Camden Yards, and the corporate flair of the naming-rights setup at the San Francisco Giants' home. 'We're adopting a 'wait-and-see' stance on that,' Maybin notes diplomatically.
To add some supernatural spice, we even channeled Babe Ruth's spirit – who 'passed away' in Asheville in April 1925 after collapsing at the train station before skipping an all-star game at McCormick Field (though he lived on for decades). Through Montford medium Madame Olenska, the Great Bambino gave his full-throated support for a mountain MLB team. 'It's a fantastic spot to recover – and the ladies are quite appealing too,' Ruth remarks. 'Now, what's the paycheck for this interview?'
If this satirical bid piques your interest, join 'Why Not Asheville?' at an info session on Saturday, Jan. 17, at noon at Doubleday Farm. Bring bricks and a trowel – complimentary water and graham crackers are on us.
What do you think? Is Asheville's 'Why Not?' campaign a fun jab at sports inequities, or does it unfairly troll rival cities? Could a mountain baseball team ever happen, or is this just pie-in-the-sky dreaming? Share your thoughts in the comments – agree, disagree, or add your own wild ideas!
